Recently I had the privilege to share with a group of parents for ways to establish faith at home. We know there is no perfect plan or full-proof formula for raising children of moral character and authentic faith. Yet, there are some disciplines that can be practiced for an environment where character can be cultivated and faith can flourish. Disciplines can be described as routines with relevance. In other words, there are habits and patterns that can seem monotonous but over the course of time will be meaningful and have long-term impact.

In this context, below is a brief list of disciplines that can be practiced for cultivating faith at home.

Family Devotions (Deuteronomy 6:1-8; Psalm 78:4-7)
The LORD charges parents with the primary responsibility of raising children. The academic instruction, life education, and spiritual development should not be outsourced to anyone. That doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t send their child to public schools or private education. It simply means that parents must be deeply involved and hands-on in raising their children. Even the church is not to replace the parent for a child learning biblical truth and how to grow in the faith.

Therefore, family devotions are vital for exposing children to the Scriptures and relating the personal nature of God. Family devotions can include reading a brief passage or verses of Scripture. Emphasis on brief, especially with younger children. Try to get everyone involved with things like: getting the Bible off the shelf, finding and marking the spot to read for that time and for the next time, reading the actual passage, etc. Discuss the meaning and importance of the biblical text. Ask if there are any questions, and how the truths or lessons learned can be applied. Then pray, thanking God and asking for grace to grow in the faith. Certain families may enjoy a time of singing or other forms of worship. In essence, family devotion is a micro-church for instilling faith at home and having a house not built on shifting sand but a firm foundation. Further, intentional devotions are vital but so are spontaneous times of prayer for one another, and Scripture exhortation for various life circumstances and application.

Resources: Family Worship (Donald Whitney), Jesus Storybook Bible (Sally Lloyd Jones), Biggest Story Bible (Kevin DeYoung).

Family Traditions (Joshua 4:1-8)
Regular activities or repeated traditions serve as monuments of meaning. While some traditions can become like duty and lack of relevance, many traditions can be joyful practices that family members eagerly anticipate. Such traditions could be daily phrases like, “Be strong and courageous, the Lord is with you.” Or, traditions could be monthly outings or annual happenings, whether birthdays, holidays, or other spiritual events. Christianity has a rich history, along with an annual calendar for our faith: Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent with Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday, Ascension, Pentecost, and other commemorative events of church history, or holidays within our national or cultural heritage.

Resources: Treasuring God In Our Traditions (Piper), Good Dirt (Borgo & Barczi)

Family Milestones (1 Corinthians 13:11)
Many milestones come and go without being recognized. Families and Christians would do well in being intentional to be equipped and celebrate life and growth seasons. Many families and churches have some form of child dedication. Other life stages and faith milestones can include: transitioning from nursery to “big church,” and equipping with “parenting in the pew.” A child’s salvation and spiritual growth, perhaps with catechism and Bible orientation. Other obvious markers are the teen transition with specific conversations about changes in their human body, manhood/womanhood aims and differences, relationships with the opposite gender, navigating technology and interacting with culture, stewardship and financial awareness, along with Christian service. Many parents will have a set of skills they would want their child to have a level of competency before they leave the house; or at least they wish they had before they assumed adult responsibilities. Later in life, young adults will get married and should require pre-marital coaching. And wouldn’t it be helpful for older adults to be equipped for their last life season for retirement and finishing well, rather than wasting years with randomness? All of these offer significant milestones for which the church and families should partner together for milestone equipping and growing godly generations.

Resources: Building Faith At Home (Mark Holmen), Sticky Faith (Powell, FYI, Et al.)

Family Partners (2 Timothy 1:5-6; Hebrews 10:24-26)
There is an old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Another saying is, “You show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Both of these quotes can be twisted in unhealthy or unbiblical ways. However, the basic intention behind these quotes is that doing life alone is unhelpful, and having the right partners in life is invaluable.

One of the blessings of a church family can be providing peers of influence and mentors of shaping impact for each member for the family. A healthy church is not just multi-generational with various ages, but intergenerational with those generations interacting informally with conversations and intentionally through community and service. Despite the age segregation that exists in many churches and the broader culture, each young person is greatly benefited when surrounded by a team of five adults. Rather than having a mindset of 1 adult for X children for supervision, a church should flip the ratio with the view of sustainable spiritual growth. Sticky Faith/FYI research suggest the 5:1 ratio of youth needing multiple adults meaningfully interacting and investing in their life.

Resources: Intergenerational Christian Formation (Allen/Ross), Family Friendly Church (Freudenburg), Family Based Youth Ministry (DeVries), Family Ministry Field Guide (TPJones)