When there’s a conflict, the key is to listen. Entering a discussion, knowing there’s tension, primed to unload your views isn’t helpful. It is possible that you have misunderstood, and the conflict could be resolved easily. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful blessing? Listening can be an act of love and peacemaking. Owning your part in a problem is mature and constructive.

However, many people approach problems as the primary fixer. They’re going to make sure their voice is heard to its fullest content and loudest volume. They choose not to attempt understanding because venting is the quicker dopamine rush than peacemaking. It’s likely that in other parts of that person’s life they are not listened to – whether growing up as a child, or in home/family dynamics, or work relationships or community contexts. So, when a problem arises, the un-listened to person lashes out.

Again, the key in these sorts of situations is to exhibit humility. Humility does not require people to become a doormat for people to walk on and trample. Instead, humility is living for an audience of one. The humble person remembers each person is made in the image of God with complex circumstances and is desperately in need of grace – just like they have received. Humility realizes human anger does not produce the righteousness of God. So, we must strive to make peace in each context, even if every problem cannot immediately be resolved.

It is easy to identify issues and complain about conflicts. Problem-spotters are more common than problem-solvers. But, blessed are the humble, the meek, the merciful, the peacemakers… Jesus is shining through you.