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You may not know all the rules, but they exist. Some rules are stated out loud and other rules few know, but people make sure to give them a voice when they’re broken. They’re called, “unwritten rules” and we’re expected to follow them.
Here’s a few:
- If you see someone, smile and say “Hello.”
- Hold the door open for the person behind you.
- In most cases, knock before you enter a door.
- Clean up after yourself / including your pet outside.
- If you’re borrowing something, leave it in equally good or better condition than you found it.
- Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
- Cover your mouth & nose before you sneeze or cough.
- If you’re in an elevator about to leave, it is rude to push the button to stop at all the other floors.
- If you’re in a public bathroom, don’t peep into another’s stall. Give others space… and only talk if required.
- Speaking of bathrooms, don’t pee in the pool.
- If you’re speaking to someone, don’t spend time on your phone.
- Don’t ask a woman her age, or ask if she’s pregnant.
The list could go on endlessly.
For fun: unwritten rules for church
- If you attend a Baptist church, must own a crock pot.
- If something goes wrong, blame the youth group.
- When the pastor is preaching, it is inappropriate to be checking a sport score or watching a movie on your phone. You can sleep but doing the above crosses a line.
- Don’t ask for 2 communion cups. Also, don’t ask to supersize your communion bread.
- Making change from the offering plate is frowned upon.
- Don’t even ask a Christian woman her age, or ask if she’s pregnant.
You get the idea – endless unwritten rules.
One more that seems common sense: wash your hands before you eat.
It is this last rule that brings our attention to Mt 15.
And since we’re talking about unwritten rules; one of the unhealthy unwritten rules of many churches is to brush dirt under the carpet. In other words, don’t discuss struggles or confront issues or create conflict. The problem with this rule is that it’s not biblical. Further, reading about the life is Jesus one can see He has a spiritual gift of looking under the carpet and exposing the dirt.
Let’s look at our text. EXAMINE Matthew 15
1 Then Pharisees & scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem saying,
As we’ve studied Matthew’s Gospel, we’ve viewed Jesus’ ability to perform miracles; compassion for sinners; empathy to heal suffering; authority to send; wisdom to teach. Today we see Jesus breaking from tradition. And the pattern for Jesus’ ministry is restoring the religious system.
In Israel’s history, they had God’s laws from Moses. The Prophets spoke God’s words, which were grounded in the Torah. The Scribes were dedicated priests who copied God’s laws on scrolls, and also gave interpretation for the laws (cf. Ez 7:6; Jer 36:32). Likewise, other educated groups like the Pharisees (separated ones) and the Sadducees also gave the religious community interpretations of God’s laws.[1] The Pharisees were more “conservative,” holding to a very literal and strict interpretation of laws; while the Sadducees were somewhat “liberal,” not affirming all God’s miraculous activity on earth. Regardless, their teachings became something like the “study notes” or commentary to our Bibles today. They’re not spiritually binding but many do view trustworthy… yet, in the 1st C people viewed the Pharisees as a commanding authority.
Which, in this passage the capital city of Jerusalem sent a delegation of Pharisees to re-educate or intimidate Jesus. They traveled about 100 miles!
2 “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.”
The Pharisees ask about the disciples – thus Jesus the Rabbi – why they break the tradition of hand-washing before meals.
Important to know, there is no OT commandment or verse about washing hands before ordinary meals. There were ritual purity requirements of priests in the temple, but the Pharisees had applied such laws to the ordinary person/family at home (Ex 30:17-21; Lev 15:11).[2] The pious Jews would ceremonially rinse their hands not just before meals but every course of the meal.[3] So, the Pharisees were not concerned about hygiene but traditional habits; in some cases unwritten rules.
3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?
Jesus answers their question with a question of His own. He contrasts religious tradition with divine commands.
There are times when discussing an issue that you need to reject the categories. Especially today, people are redefining terms and values that need not be accepted.
4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” 6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.
The context is a little clearer in Mark 7. Jesus is referencing the 5th commandment to honor parents (Ex 20:12). The situation was that adult children were finding loopholes from the Pharisaic traditions to dedicate themselves or possessions to God, so they would not have the responsibility of caring for parents. Yet, they would conveniently remove that dedication in other situations (cf Lev 27:28).
Ex. 1 I know I’m married and have 5 children, but I’m a pastor and need to work 7-days for 65hrs week. So, neglecting my family is unintentional but necessary for God’s kingdom.
Ex 2 Sorry pops, during the week my car is dedicated to God and cannot be used to take you to dr appointments. It would add mileage on the car, not to mention the price of fuel. Oh… but on Friday nights, I remove the dedication and I’m able to go to the club.
You get the idea. People misused devotion to God and manipulated Scriptural teaching to their own ends. And Jesus confronted their errors.
7 You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: 8 “‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; 9 in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”
Jesus quotes Isaiah 29:13 to rebuke the Pharisees. While Jesus had the authority to speak His mind, quoting Scripture showed the Pharisees exactly where they were wrong. They were fair teachers of God’s word, but they had neglected to be faithful students. Even worse, they became hypocrites who demanded full obedience to God but practiced fragmented devotion in their own life.
One preacher said, “The Pharisees preached by the yard but practiced by the inch. So, Jesus dealt with them by the foot.”[4]
This phrase sticks out: teaching as doctrines the commandments of men. We must be very careful not to equate our preferences or opinions as obligations. This is true spiritually:
- Bible translations
- Dress appearance
- Music styles & elements
- Drinks in sanctuary
- Churchy vs Real
- Political candidates
There are times when we will/should teach doctrinal convictions, but we could be wrong.
- Baptism mode
- Baptism b4 Supper
- Gifts of Spirit
- Eschatology
- Online worship in unique circumstances vs None vs All
10 And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: 11 it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
Jesus returns to the Pharisees’ question about washing hands. The idea was that touching something unclean and then eating it internalizes evil. But Jesus clarified that the greatest evil is that which comes out of our own mouth.
- Prov 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not lacking, but one who restrains their lips is prudent.”
- Mt 12:36-37 “on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words will be condemned.”
12 Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” 13 He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. 14 Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”
The disciples appear concerned how Jesus will be perceived by the Pharisees. Yet, obviously, Jesus is comfortable with His identity and living for an AO1. Further, Jesus admonishes the disciples to avoid/ignore the Pharisees; they’re blind guides.
- Jesus used sarcasm & jokes to make a point.
15 But Peter [disciples; Mk 7:17] said to him, “Explain the parable to us.”
- Disciples were dense… [you’re in good company]
16 And he said, “Are you also still without understanding? 17 Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? 18 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 20 These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”
Jesus explains to Peter that following religious rituals and ceremonial cleansings do not make one righteous. Just as food enters and exits the body, so what flows from the human heart is more depraved and toxic than what goes into the sewer. Jesus’ language is hard-hitting here. Our defilement and unworthiness are something that we cannot wash away, work away, or wish away. We need new hearts that only Jesus can provide.
APPLY/THINK
Look into the book.
The Scribes and Pharisees wrote hundreds of pages of what they believed honored God. The difference is that they were writing about their obedience rather than God’s actions. They were also focused on making sure others were obedient and that they overlooked how their own heart was drifting into disobedience.
Jesus said the Pharisees “tied up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and laid them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves were not willing to move them with their finger… they shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces and were hypocrites” (Mt 23:4, 13)
We need to view God’s word as a safe scalpel that makes incisions to cut away unhealthy growth and diseased cells growing inside us.
Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”
James 1:21 “receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls… the one who looks into the perfect law of liberty and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, they will be blessed in their doing.”
We look into the book systematically.
- Going beyond the daily verse, have a plan to read OT & NT books. You may not know every book, but we must be familiar with the overarching narrative of Scripture and flow from Israel’s history meshed with prophets, poetry, along with the Gospels and the early church with the NT letters.
- Attend Sunday 9:30am group. In 3 years, we (adults, youth, children) have traced through the whole of Scripture.
We look into the book specifically.
- When areas of your life are dealing with struggles or sin issues, we should allow God’s word to confront, conform, and marinate our life.
- Ps 119:11 “Thy word have I stored in my heart that I might not sin against God.”
- Allow pastors or counselors to speak into our life circumstances. Avoid the mindset: “but they’ll know about me.” The fear of being vulnerable should not be greater than the fear of being desensitized to the Holy Spirit and adulterous toward God.
Escape the hate.
12 Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” 13 He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. 14 Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”
While the disciples were worried about protecting their reputation and preserving relationships, Jesus promoted truth. Jesus described the Pharisees as a wildflower or weed, which will be uprooted by God at the end (cf Mt 13:30).
There are some people in life, whether religious or irreligious, who are stubborn, shut down to listening, and have seared conscience.[5] Their relationships are not objects of love or compassion but manipulation. Instead of believing the story of grace, they affirm an alternative story – one that places them at the center as the victim. They no longer see their behavior as sins to be repented of but as expressions of freedom. They make choices but are confused at the consequences. Their story has enlightened them to entitlement and roots of bitterness. Rather than their heart being fertile soil or a luscious garden, it’s a wild jungle with tangled vines with hidden and heavy rocks. In other words, they were wayward souls needing to be let go.
Jesus told the disciples to “Let them alone.” Matthew’s wording is strong language; in other places it’s used to describe abandonment, or even divorce.[6] The reason is because Jesus knew the Pharisees were not going to change, and their efforts were going to take down and destroy others – blind guides leading others into a pit! There are times in our life where we need to escape hate.

So, practically, how do we know when to walk away, or let go of someone/something we love? I’m using the acronym FACE, believing we need to meet these issues head on.
- Failure. When we’re focused on failure more than forever. Relationships are supposed to be life-giving not life-taking. We need to understand why a relationship is difficult and draining. Certainly, every relationship takes work – and marriages that are because of the Lord’s mercy and grace, not because of luck. But if all we can focus on are the relational failures, it’s definitely time for counseling. Eph 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” If bitterness and unforgiveness is setting in, then avoiding intervention is setting the relationship up for greater impairment.
- Alignment. Ideally, the beginning of a relationship sorts out areas of agreement and alignment. Sometimes it helps to write things down to understand expectations. And for Christians, agreeing on faith perspective is essential.
2 Cor 6:16 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with idols?”
So, if you’re not equally yoked, it’s possible to separation needs to occur. In contrast, if Christ is shared in the relationship, then hope abounds.
*in terms of marriage, and Christian marriages, divorce is not a solution to conflict, but it might be a consequence due to sin, namely adultery.[7] - Constructive. Beyond alignment is the relationship working together. Again, relationships take significant amounts of work – communication and actions – words and deeds. One of the most helpful things you can do in a relationship is ask: “How you doin?” Seriously, we need to check in with one another and discern how to deepen roots, strengthen the foundation, and construct the character and chemistry of the relationship. But if one or more parties are continually sabotaging stability and shifting the goals/wins, then the relationship is not being constructed but the path of destruction. Every choice has consequences, and sometimes the best choice is to allow the consequences to hurt to bring about change.
Otherwise… - Endings. Sometimes you don’t want a relationship to end but it does anyway. We cannot control all our circumstances, but we can manage our response. When a relationship undesirably ends, we can keep spending time at the gravesite but all you’ll get is more grief. But when we look at endings from a biblical perspective we know that God is the author of resurrection.
God turns graves into gardens, and He brings good from wrongdoing.
Hand your heart to Jesus.
Jesus explains that our hearts are depraved. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. The good we want to do, we neglect; and for some reason we act contrary to what we know is holy and helpful (cf Ro 7:15-25). We are ineffective, unable, and unqualified to fix anyone else, much more ourselves. So, our biggest takeaway from this passage is that we heed to hand our heart to Jesus. If you read the rest of Mt 15, you will see people who are willing to place what they deem precious into God’s hands will have it returned with blessing.
- A woman’s burden is lifted.
- A child’s suffering is relieved.
- Those hurting find hope.
- Those hungry are filled.
There are times when we don’t know what to do, where else to go, who else to turn to. Friend, I implore you to take what’s in your hands and turn it over to Jesus.
I want to share words from a respected author:
“Some people get so entangled in the various dos and don’ts of prayers, so transfixed by the problem of sorting out what is our part and what is God’s part, so bogged down by fretting over whether they, as mere flawed humans, should ask anything of a holy, almighty God or conversely whether there is any point in asking since God will do what he wants anyway that they become paralyzed about praying… Romans 8:26, however, provides wonderful release from this paralysis… We are praying persons being prayed for by the Holy Spirit himself… [So] Don’t fret; just pray. God fixes our prayers on the way up. If he does not answer the prayer we made, he will answer the prayer we should have made. That is all anyone needs to know.”[8]
Would you come to Jesus?
- Not tradition. Not religion.
- Coming to Jesus is connecting to a church.
A family.
Imperfect but learning from & loving one another.
[1] Charles W. Draper with Harrop Clayton, “Jewish Parties in the New Testament,” ed. Chad Brand et al., Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2003), 917.
[2] Donald A. Hagner, Matthew 14–28, vol. 33B, Word Biblical Commentary (Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 1995), 430.
[3] Skip Heitzig, Matthew 15 sermon.
[4] Heitzig, Matthew 15.
[5] This section and topic inspired from Dave Harvey, Letting Go: Rugged Love For Wayward Souls. Application is my own.
[6] Charles R. Swindoll, Matthew 1–15, vol. 1A, Swindoll’s Living Insights New Testament Commentary (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2020), 324.
[7] cf Mt 5:32; 19:3-9; 1Cor 7.
[8] James Packer & Carolyn Nystrom, Praying: Finding Our Way Through Duty To Delight
