Escape the hate.

Matthew 15 ¹² Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” ¹³ He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. ¹⁴ Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

While the disciples were worried about protecting their reputation and preserving relationships, Jesus promoted truth. Jesus described the Pharisees as a wildflower or weed, which will be uprooted by God at the end (cf Mt 13:30).

There are some people in life, whether religious or irreligious, who are stubborn, shut down to listening, and have seared conscience. Their relationships are not objects of love or compassion but manipulation. Instead of believing the story of grace, they affirm an alternative story – one that places them at the center as the victim. They no longer see their behavior as sins to be repented of but as expressions of freedom. They make choices but are confused at the consequences. Their story has enlightened them to entitlement and roots of bitterness. Rather than their heart being fertile soil or a luscious garden, it’s a wild jungle with tangled vines with hidden and heavy rocks. In other words, they were wayward souls needing to be let go.

Jesus told the disciples to “Let them alone.” Matthew’s wording is strong language; in other places it’s used to describe abandonment, or even divorce. The reason is because Jesus knew the Pharisees were not going to change, and their efforts were going to take down and destroy others – blind guides leading others into a pit! There are times in our life where we need to escape hate.

Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

So, practically, how do we know when to walk away, or let go of someone/something we love? I’m using the acronym FACE, believing we need to meet these issues head on.  

• Failure. When we’re focused on failure more than forever. Relationships are supposed to be life-giving not life-taking. We need to understand why a relationship is difficult and draining. Certainly, every relationship takes work – and marriages that are because of the Lord’s mercy and grace, not because of luck. But if all we can focus on are the relational failures, it’s definitely time for counseling. Eph 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” If bitterness and unforgiveness is setting in, then avoiding intervention is setting the relationship up for greater impairment.
  
• Alignment. Ideally, the beginning of a relationship sorts out areas of agreement and alignment. Sometimes it helps to write things down to understand expectations. And for Christians, agreeing on faith perspective is essential.
  2 Cor 6:16 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with idols?”
  So, if you’re not equally yoked, it’s possible to separation needs to occur. In contrast, if Christ is shared in the relationship, then hope abounds.
  *in terms of marriage, and Christian marriages, divorce is not a solution to conflict, but it might be a consequence due to sin, namely adultery (cf. Mt 5:32; 19:3-9; 1 Cor 7)
  
• Constructive. Beyond alignment is the relationship working together. Again, relationships take significant amounts of work – communication and actions – words and deeds. One of the most helpful things you can do in a relationship is ask: “How you doin?” Seriously, we need to check in with one another and discern how to deepen roots, strengthen the foundation, and construct the character and chemistry of the relationship. But if one or more parties are continually sabotaging stability and shifting the goals/wins, then the relationship is not being constructed but the path of destruction. Every choice has consequences, and sometimes the best choice is to allow the consequences to hurt to bring about change.
  
  Otherwise…
  
• Endings. Sometimes you don’t want a relationship to end but it does anyway. We cannot control all our circumstances, but we can manage our response. When a relationship undesirably ends, we can keep spending time at the gravesite but all you’ll get is more grief. But when we look at endings from a biblical perspective we know that God is the author of resurrection. Believe that God turns graves into gardens, and He brings good from wrongdoing.

Taken from full sermon March 10 accessed https://tinyurl.com/YOUTUBESPBCMD