MOTIVATE

There is a common statement that reads: “Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.”[1]

This philosophy is meant for business and organizational growth. However, it can also be applied to relationships. Love that is complacent will regress to indifference. You see, the opposite of love is not hate but apathy. And love that is not nurtured, cherished, and frequently attended to will grow cold.

The last line of that earlier quote:
“Only the paranoid survive,” is the reminder to stay focused on your mission and stay fresh in your relational aims.

I heard of one Marine base in a dangerous area that had a sign with a simple question: “Will this be the day that complacency kills?”

Everyone knows this is true but somehow many ignore the principle. Things that dwindle, decay, and destroy our lives often occur in small moments. Complacency sneaks in and wreaks havoc. And the consequences are far too common:

• Physical stress
• Emotional frustration
• Spiritual burnout
• Organizational controversy
• Relational conflict
• Moral failure
• Lost jobs and career upheaval
• Churches undermined and overwhelmed
• Worse: marriages end; families are broken; and lives are impaired.

So, what if I told you that I have found a key to sustaining our souls, protecting our priorities, revitalizing our relationships, and invigorating our churches?

You’d probably be suspicious, which is understandable. Yet, if you’re anything like me, you’re also intrigued by the invitation. So, I want to share with you today what I’m still investigating, exploring, and growing to understand: it’s the love of God.

EXAMINE           Love Song: Ephesians 3:14-21

Now, for the 2 of you who hang on to every word from your pastor, you remember that I said I was going to start a series in the SoS; so why are we in Ephesians today? The reason is bc SoS can be easily misinterpreted if we don’t have the right foundation.

Significant things are not built in seconds or with sand. Whatever you’re building – a great organization, a strong marriage, or a healthy church – these take time and tools, along with the wisdom to build a solid foundation. That’s what I want to accomplish with this series: LOVE SONG.

So, we’re starting with some foundational elements from Ephesians and Proverbs before we officially begin SoS starting in June.

Keys to sustaining our soul & revitalizing relationships:

Feel and focus on the gravity of the gospel.

Eph 3 is a prayer in the middle of a letter…

 ¹⁴ For this reason Paul is referring to the earlier content of his letter…  

• God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing… and adopted us as children with a glorious inheritance (1:3-11)
• God has made us alive and rescued us from the prince of darkness (2:1-10)
• God has transformed us from strangers far away, and brought us near as citizens belonging to His kingdom (2:12-19).
• God has redeemed Paul’s past failures to called him to be a messenger of confident hope and minister of forgiving grace (3:1-13).

And as he does so, Paul feels the gravity of the gospel and is captivated by Christ’s compassion and humbled before the greatness and grace of God to bow his knees before Father God.

^…14 I bow my knees before the Father

Prayer, and love BTW, starts with humility. We cannot demand God to act on our behalf or treat God as our personal assistant. Nor can we pressure someone into a loving relationship by prideful mandates. This is what makes God so amazing – that He’s Sovereign of the universe but also the humble Savior who sacrificially gave His own life to display His love for us.

Bowing or kneeling expresses honored gratitude, humble reverence, and unconditional surrender. It was a common biblical practice.[2] Ps 95:6 says, “Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the LORD our maker.”

• What causes awe in your life?
• What makes you bow/beg for help?
• What hinders you from bowing to God?

¹⁵ from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, ¹⁶ according to the riches of his glory

Paul prays according to the riches of God’s glory – this is more immense than we can imagine.

Illus: My children enjoy OBX vacations. They fly kites overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. They walk along the shoreline collecting sea shells feeling the Atlantic Ocean waves on their feet. They even swim in the ocean during October! But, they only know a microscopic portion compared to the vast oceanic resource covering 1/5 of our global surface with almost 33 million square miles and avg depth 12K feet and max depth at 27,500’.

Likewise, when we pray according to the riches of God’s glory, we are praying for the sum total of God’s omniscience (knowledge) and omnipotence (power). In other words, “with God, all things are possible” (Lk 1:37; Mt 19:26).

• Is there anything appearing too big to you that you’re neglecting to place in God’s hands? Do so today.

Pray for and proclaim the strength of the gospel.

he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—

VV.14-19 are one long, run-on sentence in Greek. Paul wants the readers to see the themes in this prayer are tied together. His prayers according to the riches of God’s glory begins with internal strength.

Illus: Most everyone is aware the Titanic was a giant passenger ship that in its 1912 maiden voyage struck an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean and the ship sank with over 1500 drowned. Thousands of items like personal jewelry and clothing, along with daily usage items such as plates, pots & pans; musical instruments; and other priceless cargo were all lost and much destroyed. Yet, scientist found some items like champaigne bottles that were intact and not imploded. The reason why is due to the internal pressure of the bottle being equal to the external pressure.

This is Paul’s prayer: that Christ may dwell in your heart by faith to withstand and protect you from the external pressure and pain of life.

1Jn 4:4 “Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.”

that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 

We describe items by dimensions:

• Square footage of a house
• Acres of property
• Carats on a diamond
• Storage space in a computer
• Fuel tank gallons
• Boat loads of fish

Paul wants us to understand the strength of God’s love inside us by describing its dimensions.

• Breadth/width.
  Tabernacle was 15’ wide.
  Temple was 30’ wide.
  *God’s love is as wide as outstretched arms.

• Length
  Tabernacle was 45’ long
  Temple was 90’ long
  *God’s love is the length of history to eternity.

• Height
  Tabernacle was 15’ high
  Temple was 45’ high
  *God’s love reaches the height of heavens and the depths of our pain.
  cf Ps 36:5 “Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens and stretches to the skies”
  Ps 103:11-12, 17 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him, as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions… the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting”

God’s love is as wide as outstretched arms.God’s love is the length of history to eternity.God’s love reaches the height of heavens and depths of our pain.

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Supremely, Paul proclaims ¹⁹ the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge. Whether peeking through a telescope to see the stars, or blasting satellite rockets into space to see light years into the future; or even reading God’s revelation in Scripture, we can only begin to scratch the surface of God’s amazing love.

In our human view of love, amazing agape is hard to accept. We’re uncertain it exists, unsure if we can trust, and undecided to surrender because opening our life to love with such vulnerability is risky.

– What if God turns His back on me?

– What if God changes His mind?

– What if…

Sometimes our human view of love thinks God only loves a

• Former version of ourselves. God used to be close and love me, BUT, we’ve done something wrong. You strayed. You sinned. Or, someone did something to you that caused a change in your circumstances, so you believe God thinks less of you, and YOU think you’re less loveable and undeserving. Negative self-talk and paranoia permeate your thinking.
• In our human view, we think God only loves a future version of ourselves. We know we’re not where we want to be and still learning, still changing. So, we’re fixated on our own works of trying harder rather than focusing on and trusting what Jesus has already done.
• In our human view, we think God only loves a curated version of me. In other words, you feel like you’re required to always smile and show the best version of yourself. Like a college application or job interview, you promote your strengths and accomplishments and downplay or wordsmith any weaknesses. There are areas of your life that you don’t address – you hide them; they’re untouchable by anyone, including God because those things are too emotional, too hurtful, too vulnerable to bring up.

We think God only loves a former, or future, or curated version of ourselves. But Scripture does not allow such a limited view of God’s agape. Pray that you may know the fullness of God’s love in Christ. #Ephesians3

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But Paul is not content to allow us a limited view of God’s love.

¹⁹ that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Paul prays for us to be filled with the fullness of knowing God’s love. This means that we are not fearful or guessing if God is happy or upset at us. Instead, because of the gospel of Jesus’ substitute life and sacrificial death, we can have confidence that

• There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Ro 8:1)
• The Spirit is permanently sealed in our heart as a guarantee of God’s possession (Eph 1:13-14)
  *like a receipt proof of purchase
• Heaven is our forever home (2Cor 5:1)

Paul repeatedly speaks about gospel fullness. Later in Ephesians he exhorts believers to “not get drunk with alcohol, but be filled with the Spirit” (5:18) – the language is present tense implying continuous action – “keep being filled with the Spirit.”

When a person is intoxicated with something

• Ex. milk: feel bloated, stomach pain, can’t move, impacts activity
• Ex. alcohol: impairs thinking clearly, coordination is clumsy, speech is slurred – – everyone who surrounds a drunk can be affected; long-term effects can occur.  
• Ex Holy Spirit: awakens activities like peace/joy/love, heightens senses to serve others.

This is what Christians/churches need.

• Adrian Rogers: “most Baptists have been to Calvary for pardon but not to Pentecost for power.”
• The contrast of gospel fullness is emptiness. This occurs in a person who has not trusted Jesus as Lord of life and Savior from sin. They’re like a glove – made in the image of a hand but empty it’s idle and inconsequential. Until God’s hand is upon our life we will miss the satisfaction of our purpose, the feeling of joy.
  Gospel emptiness occurs also when we grieve the Holy Spirit with undeserved anger, jealousy, unwholesome talk, and unforgiving bitterness.

• If we want God to fill us, we must empty ourselves of our own purpose, plans, and patterns. What do you need to empty and turn over to God today?

In case we’re tempted to distraction or drift, Paul concludes his prayer with a profound doxology. This reminds us:

Worship and work toward growing godly generations.

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 
²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Paul’s prayer isn’t just a religious checklist of conversational items.

It has

• a specific aim
• a determined ambition
• a glorious purpose

with the commitment to love and labor in God’s church for future generations.

If all we care about is having

• ministries to meet our own needs,
• people to huddle in our own cliques
• music to suit our own preferences
• budgets to spend for our own needs
• leaders that focus on maintenance over the Great Commission…

Then we have radically distorted the dream and drive of God’s church.

• What is your commitment to gather in worship and faith, grow in discipleship and hope, and go in service and love for the vision of growing godly generations?

APPLY/TAKEAWAY

Closing takeaways:

This is a prayer. The passage offers no commands or directions. It’s a prayer to God. There is nothing for you to do but to receive the love of God.

American folk singer David Wilcox wrote a song titled “Break In The Cup,” that is worthwhile quoting the lyrics, as it is reflective of this passage:

I try so hard to please you
To be the love that fills you up
I try to pour on sweet affection
But I think you got a broken cup.
Because you can’t believe I love you
I try to tell you that there is no doubt
But as soon as fill you with all I’ve got
That little break will let it run right out
I cannot make you happy
I’m learning love and money never do
But I can pour myself out ’til I’m empty
Trying to be just who you’d want me to
I cannot make you happy
Even though our love is true
For there’s a break in the cup that holds love
Inside of you
I guess you cannot make me happy
And that’s a money-back guarantee
But you can pour yourself out ’til you’re empty
Trying to be just who’d I want you to be
You cannot make me happy
It’s just the law of gravity
And that break in the cup that holds love
Inside of me
So if you’re tempted to rescue me
Drowning in this quicksand up to my neck
Before you grab my hand to save me
Why don’t you ask me if I’m finished yet?
You cannot make me happy
Not when there’s empty inside of me
But you can pull yourself right in here with me
My misery’d love to have your company
We cannot trade empty for empty
We must go to the waterfall
For there’s a break in the cup that holds love
A break in the cup that holds love
Inside us all

“Break In The Cup” – David Wilcox

*Friend, your broken cup needs filled up with a love that binds together every broken crevice.

*Would you take moments today to plant or replant yourself in gospel soil?

Would you pray for self… others in church… someone you know that doesn’t know Jesus.

There is one gospel…

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[1] Andy Grove, book title: Only The Paranoid Survive. Also, this quote and introduction is inspired and adapted from Jon Tyson e-newsletter, April 24, 2025.

[2] See Abraham (Gen 18:2), or God’s commands (Ex 20:4-5); Moses & Aaron (Num 20:6); Ezra 9:5-6; Daniel 6:10; Ps 5:7; 138:2; etc. Also see people before Jesus (Mt 17:6; Lk 17:16; and Php 2:10)

[3] Some elements like: the past, future, curated version of identity AND the David Wilcox reference are inspired from sermon by Bob Thune on this passage.