MOTIVATE

If someone you knew was kidnapped, what would you do? Would you be upset? Would you be moved to action: contact authorities, draw awareness, attempt rescue? Of course you would because you respond to that which is precious to you.
Today, we are going to talk about a precious gift of God: sex. Unfortunately, sex has been hijacked by the secular worldview, and it is time for Christians to rescue and return it to its proper home. The stereotypical view of the church on the topic of sex has been something like this: “sex is dirty so save it for the one you love.” This is unfortunate since God is the creator of everything and all He made is good and for His glory (Colossians 1:16; Ephesians 1:3-14). To be even clearer, sex is not sinful but sacred. There is beauty and blessing within the boundaries that God designed for the act of sex. Christians must not allow secular society to hijack God’s handiwork. The Bible does not shy away from the relevant issues we face today in contemporary life, marriage and family. So, we are taking several weeks in this series to focus on what God’s word has to say on a sacred subject.

Unfortunately, sex has been hijacked by the secular worldview, and it is time for Christians to rescue and return it to its proper home. #LoveSongofSolomon

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Again, we’ll get to Song of Solomon soon. But today we’re in Proverbs 5.

EXAMINE       Proverbs 5            Love Song Family Warning

The Proverbs are a collection of sayings, known for its concise and clever statements about human nature and navigating life. Many Proverbs were written by King Solomon, who wrote over 3000 proverbs and 1,005 songs (1Kings 4:32). We’ll soon review Solomon’s hit song of songs, but today we reflect on a warning from one of his proverbs.

Royal leadership. Solomon, as king, understood if the nation was to succeed that he would need kingly wisdom beyond his own abilities. He was king and ruler and needed to rule well. As goes the king so goes the nation:“When the righteous increase the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule the people groan.” Pr 29:2  So, these early Proverbs speak about wisdom and family relationships – specifically warning against lust, bc Solomon knew a strong nation required families of faith and godly generations. Solomon is exercising royal leadership to protect from outward opponents and the internal tests. “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”[1]

Relational lessons. Solomon is also writing to his sons, as well as the sons of the nation – and us today, to express lessons for relating to God and others.

• 24x references to teaching a “son.”[2]
• Chapters 1 – 9 are an introductory message from Solomon to his son; so whenever you see son, know that son/daughter – you are included as a child of the king.
• Like Psalms is to prayer, Proverbs is to life’s purpose.

The context of Proverbs 5 is Solomon addressing the topic of lust. I think this is one last but necessary passage to introduce our series LOVE SONG

• Ephesians 3:14-21   Love Song Family Prayer
• Ephesians 6    Love Song Family Warfare
• SoS 6:10          Love Song Discussion – (amazing job, ladies!)
• Today Proverbs5   Love Song Family Warning

Avoiding God’s wisdom is perilous.
¹ My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, ² that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.

Proverbs frequently implores the reader to gain wisdom, pursue it far greater than any treasure or other object in life.[3] Here Solomon calls his son to be attentive and incline his ear to wisdom. Solomon’s wisdom is more than intelligence & information – it’s about transformation bringing together understanding & discernment; informing mind and shaping the heart.

Notice also my wisdom implies that Solomon possesses what he hopes to impart. We cannot preach to others what we are not practicing. And for a season, Solomon walked with God in integrity and zeal.
He made good decisions as king.
He honored God with obedience.
He gave justice in solving problems and helping others. Yet, he became distracted in devotion to God with lust for women (700 wives & 300 concubines; “they turned away his heart from the LORD” 1Ki 11:3-4).

What started Solomon’s drift? We don’t know exactly, but we do know that God told David & Bathsheba to name their son “Jedidiah,” which means “God’s darling.”^[4] But instead, the parents chose the name “Solomon,” which means “God’s peace.”^[5] PERHAPS, David was more focused on his own perspective with God than his son’s development. And Solomon learned the head knowledge about God but seemingly failed to fully develop the heart affection with God. He sought love darlings in all the wrong places and people, failing to realize God’s love for him.

So, parents: this topic of sexuality and relationships is vital. Your children will learn about these topics either from you or someone else. Elementary schools starting in kindergarten are introducing this subject with unbiblical worldviews. Television and movies are normalizing unwholesome lifestyles. And the peers of children are discussing these important topics in everyday conversations. So, if you do not initiate conversations – and provide a biblical framework for this topic, then you are missing vital opportunities. But most of all, make sure they know the source of every good and perfect gift is from above, the Father in heaven (Ja1:17).  

Solomon warns sexual activity outside of hetero marriage is perilous to your faith and your family. This includes lustful fantasies, pornography (P), pre-marital intimacy and cohabitation, adultery, and homosexuality. Solomon warns his son of two temptations: 

³ For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil,

The first temptations is flirtation. It’s smooth and seductive talk. It’s one thing to give encouragement but another to charm someone offering advances that are not sincere or commitments that you have no intention of keeping. Some might think that flirting is harmless but over time it fosters an emotional intimacy that eventually will only be satisfied with physical action. The mention of lips dripping honey may hint of blowing kisses or teasing intimacy, which we can see as wholesome in the context of marriage with SoS 4:11.^[6]

So, be careful of flirting w/o intention.

Another temptation is ignoring future consequences.

⁴ but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. ⁵ Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; ⁶ she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it. ⁷ And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. ⁸ Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, ⁹ lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless,¹⁰ lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, ¹¹and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed,

The future consequences are bitter regret. Wormwood was a plant root that was mixed in a diet for medicinal purposes, but it has a potent odor and bitter taste. And modern studies reveal that long-term usage can negatively impact the nervous system and affect fertility as it contains levels of toxicity.[7] Likewise, flirting and flings outside of marriage is poisonous.

Solomon also compares the adulterer to a sharp two-edged sword; she cuts both ways. Even when there is pleasure, there will be pain.

⁸ Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house Solomon advises firm boundaries without entertaining even trivial encounters. Sexual sin is a multifaceted danger with lingering and spiraling consequences that go beyond other types of sin. This goes beyond physical adultery and includes the hideous activity of (P), which is equally sinful and costly (Mt 5:28). The (P) industry funds slave trafficking, rape culture, and forced abortions; none of which are valued by most anyone, yet are indirectly funded with the high demand for it. Sadly, the avg age for first viewing (P) is 12 y/o and 15% of children at age 10[8], and the chemical is as addictive as any strong drug.

Essentially, you’ll give away your ^v.9 honor (authority, vitality; bloom or radiance)[9] and the prime years of life. In other words, sexual sin will end up consuming the bulk of your life and you’ll pay for it in every facet: emotionally, psychologically, financially, and spiritually. Avoiding God’s wisdom is foolish and perilous.

Embracing God’s discipline is beneficial.

¹² and you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! ¹³ I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. ¹⁴ I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.”   
Becoming a Christian does not mean you stop sinning. There are a variety of differences between a Christian and non-believer, but a key is that one repents and the other doesn’t. Repentance isn’t merely admitting limitations or imperfections and repeating the same behaviors. Instead, biblical repentance is turning away from attitudes and actions that offend God and turning toward obedience to Scripture.

• To plant flowers but not remove weeds is futility.
• To drive a car without keeping maintenance is futility.
• To have morals without also turning away from sin is to miss the face of God.

Solomon notes that we hinder repentance by ¹² despising discipline and rejecting reproof. Discipline is not just corrective but formative; it’s exercising spiritual muscles and stretching faith outside of comfort zones to grow strong in faith, develop maturity, and bear fruit in God’s kingdom. Reproof explains corrective discipline, where iron sharpens iron to hold one another accountable. We need supportive sisters and elevating brothers.

Another key difference between Christians and non-believers is that a true Christian has a pastor.[10] Now don’t tune me out – or think I’m making a self-serving statement. Solomon says we fall to sin and yield to lust when ¹³ do not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. ¹⁴ [We are] at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.”   Solomon has in mind standing before the humiliating judgment of temple priests and a watching community. Hidden sin will always be revealed, and ultimately, we’ll stand before the judgment seat of Christ
(Nu 32:23; Lk 8:17; Gal 6:7-8; 2 Cor 5:10).

So, ultimately Christ is our Chief Shepherd. But pastors and godly leaders are also God’s gift to you. It is easy to find your beloved tv/radio pastor who is polished in presentation; or curate your favorite song playlists to the decibel of your needs. However, these hand-picked environments fall short of God’s chosen means to shepherd your soul with pastors who labor in prayer and preaching the full counsel of God, and brothers and sisters who weep and rejoice with meal trains, hospital visits, and priceless friendship on mountain tops and through valley journeys.

Friend, the only way we get through life and overcome sin is by embracing God’s discipline through a faithful and local community of believers. So, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and full assurance of faith in Christ’s forgiving grace; and let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess; and spur one another on toward love and good deeds as we do not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing (Heb 10:23-25).

Obeying God’s principles is protective.
We might be tempted to read this passage and be defeated; or think that God only wants to steal our joy and rob us from pleasure. However, God is the creator of every good and perfect gift / Jesus is the source of joy / and the LORD’s principles and commands are not burdensome but a protective blessing for us.

^{Proverbs 5:15} Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. ¹⁶ Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? ¹⁷ Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. ¹⁸      Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, ¹⁹ a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. ²⁰ Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? ²¹      For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. ²² The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. ²³ He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.

Solomon’s gives a command to drink water. He wants our life to overflow with springs of refreshment, nourishment, and strength. In this context, drinking water from your own cistern implies God’s command to frequently share and fervently celebrate intimacy with your spouse! The outlet for your sexual appetite is marriage. And rather than gorging on the buffet the world offers (which is wormwood poison), you are to drink and eat in the home of God’s protective boundaries of marriage.

• fountain be blessed
• rejoice in your wife
• lovely deer
• graceful doe.
• her breasts fill you at all times with delight

Solomon uses blunt language in this passage – and he’ll do so all throughout Song of Solomon that some will blush. But we should see the wonderful beauty and intense sacredness of marriage… also repeated in the New Testament.

1 Cor 7:2-5 “Since sexual immorality is rampant, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband’s and wife’s body is not their own but is to yield to one another, and not deprive the other… so that Satan will not tempt you”

Heb 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and sexually immoral.”

God does not withhold His blessings but gives His best to those who obey Him.

APPLY/TAKEAWAY

His wife was gone. [11] Sure, last night looked like a lot of nights recently. She’d walked out many times before, but this was different. The abandonment, the adultery, and the deception had mounted a massive assault on their marriage and family. Had it been three men in just six months? He feared there were more. Again and again, she’d wrecked the family’s affairs with her own. She had spent and overspent the family budget to please another guy—another irrational and illicit love.

Their marriage, once sweet, had become a nightmare. Those first days, maybe even months, of marital bliss felt so distant and unfamiliar. It was hard for her husband to believe they were ever even real. Two children—a son and a daughter—were the real victims, loved by dad, but left by mom. They were conceived and raised in despair and misery. Their dad had always hoped things would change. He even promised that things would be different, that the loneliness and betrayal they’d known their whole lives would be turned for good—for hope, belonging, and love.

Not knowing what to say to his confused and wounded children that night, dad knelt down between their beds, and he prayed: “God, please rescue my bride—the mother of my precious children—“

Several years later, on a hot afternoon in August, the husband was walking downtown through a local park. His oldest, a teenager now, had left an assignment on the kitchen table, so he was dropping it off at school. He could walk from his office, and usually even enjoyed the break and exercise, but it was uncomfortable today. Temperatures had soared to record highs, leaving most people hiding inside until evening.
He saw a woman, though—the only soul he’d seen since he left work. She was exhausted, disheveled, and desperate. She was squeezing every last drop out of a public drinking fountain, clinging to it like she might drown if she let go.
As he walked closer, he started to make out her face.

“Hannah? . . . Is that you?” He looked into her eyes and saw the face he knew so well, the woman who had hurt him so deeply. She was still his wife. She looked around uncomfortably, as if she was waiting for someone else to walk by and discover her shame. She had left so much for so very little. She left the provision, safety, and intimacy of a truly good man for a treadmill of temporary pleasure and terrible, destructive life choices. The other men always seemed so attractive, but they never truly loved her, and the relationships never lasted.

“Why are you out here, Hannah?”

“I have nowhere else to go, and I had to get away from him. . . . I’m tired, and scared, and thirsty.”

“Come home, Hannah. You know I will take care of you—whatever you need. I’ll provide for you and protect you. You’ll never be thirsty again.” After several hard, awkward, silent moments, she finally looked back up at him, feeling lost, embarrassed, and ashamed. He was smiling. It wasn’t the cute, naïve, playful smile she saw on their first dates together. No, it had been replaced with something deeper, more refined, and durable. “I love you,” he said. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, what she was hearing.

“But you don’t know what I’ve done . . . where I’ve been.”

“No, I do. I know about the men. I know about the one at your apartment right now, and the six that came before him. I know each of their names, Hannah. Come home.”

“No, you don’t understand. I’m not worthy of you anymore.”

“Hannah, I never loved you because you were worthy. I loved you because you were mine. And even though you ran away and gave yourself to other men, I choose to love and forgive you. Even though you walked away from our family, I have remained steadfast; Even though you defiled our marriage bed and failed our hopes, I have remained faithful to you. I will take you back to be with me as my bride, remade in beauty.

• We are Hannah, each one of us. The names of our seven affairs are Pride, Sloth and Gluttony, Envy and Greed, Wrath, and Lust.
• And the betrayed, but faithful husband is Jesus—our first love, our lost love, our renewed love.
• Lift up your eyes unto the LORD
  He will hold you fast.

---

[1] Winston Churchill / African proverb.

[2] Proverbs 1:8, 1:10; 1:15; 2:1; 3:1; 3:11; 3:21; 4:1; 4:10; 4:20; 5:1; 6:1; 6:20; 7:1; 7:24; 7:32; 10:1; 13:1; 15:20; 19:13; 24:13; 24:21; 27:11; 31:2

[3] Proverbs 3:13; 3:21; 4:5; 5:1; 7:4; 8:11; 10:13; 10:23:10:31; 16:16; 23:23;

^[4] Se 2 Sam 12:24. Chad Brand et al., eds., “Jedidiah,” in Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2003), 874.

^[5] Joe O. Lewis, “Solomon,” in Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, ed. Chad Brand et al. (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2003), 1514.

^[6] Jonathan Akin, Exalting Jesus in Proverbs, ed. David Platt, Daniel L. Akin, and Tony Merida, Christ-Centered Exposition Commentary (Nashville, TN: Holman Reference, 2017), 75.

[7] https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-729/wormwood

[8] https://www.commonsensemedia.org/press-releases/new-report-reveals-truths-about-how-teens-engage-with-pornography

[9] https://biblehub.com/hebrew/1935.htm

[10] Consider this article: https://www.9marks.org/article/why-do-i-need-a-pastor/

[11] Adapted from Marshal Segal, Killjoys: The Seven Deadly Sins, (Desiring God, 2015), p. V – VIII.