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I love candles. Saying that doesn’t mean I’m an aficionado. I just like the simplicity and ambiance of a single wick flame. The light waves from side to side like it is dancing and has its own mind or music. The fire generates heat, and if amplified correctly can warm a room. Yet, we all know that a single candle cannot light a community, nor can it warm a whole house, or much more a neighborhood. BUT, imagine there was a single flame that could. Imagine there was an endless ember that could never be extinguished – and even if you were to take it on the “Maid Of The Mist” underneath Niagara Falls, the flame would remain faithful.

In fact, such a flame does exist, but it is not external burning but internal illumination whose source is the LORD. God’s fiery steadfast love is vital to life, family, and marriage, which we aim to discuss in our last message in the SOS series. And this consuming fire is available to fill hearts and minds for all who believe.

EXAMINE  Song of Songs 5-8     Enrichment

LOVE SONG (SOS 5 of 8 messages)

• Family Prayer (Ephesians 3:14-21)
• Family Is Warfare (Ephesians 6)
• Family Warning (Proverbs 5)
• Godly Manhood (SOS 1-2)
• Godly Womanhood (SOS 1-2)
• Catching Foxes & Fighting Fair With Grace (SOS 2:15)
• Marital Intimacy (SOS 3-7)
• Marital Enrichment (SOS 8)

This Song/book is often neglected bc preachers afraid to teach it; or it is criticized thinking it shouldn’t be included in the Bible bc it doesn’t include God. Christians view physical intimacy as a taboo subject, and that sexual pleasure has nothing to do with God or holiness. And the world has a contrasting view but a shared result. People say, “Keep God out of my bedroom/sex-life.” They want to sleep with whomever, whenever. They don’t want God/faith/Scripture addressing intimacy. “We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no!” 

Yet hopefully this study has helped you to realize that God is in the details as the architect of marriage and engineer of intimacy. Further, the author of this book refers to God twice. The first time is at near the end (8:6), but there is another inconspicuous (low-key) moment in the middle of the book. Scholars note there are 111 lines from 1:2 to 4:15, and there are 111 lines from 5:2 to 8:14.[1] The point is that Solomon has carefully and creatively constructed this love letter so that we see the center of the love relationship between himself and his bride is the outside guest, the Lord of life and of their marriage saying, SOS 5:1c “Eat, friends. Drink and be drunk with love.” It’s a humbling thought that the Creator and Lord of glory invites us to be intoxicated with love. This perspective understands that sex is not only a blessing from God but a bridge to God. ^[2] Human intimacy is so satisfying but still leaves us yearning for something infinitely more: God – why in heaven there isn’t marriage (Mt 22:30). Sex is satisfying but not as gratifying as God. So, husbands and wives on earth are to love their spouses – to the glory of God!

This final message will describe their love for one another for how it glorifies God and make application for our marriages today.

6 characteristics of faithful enduring love

Their love understood sabbath (7:11-13)
Solomon and the Shulamite have been married for a season. They’ve experienced life challenges and relational conflicts. They overcome the pressures from their peers and problems of the world. Their marriage is a model for us. Before we close this book, she says: ^7:11  Come, my beloved, let us go out into the fields/country-side and lodge in the villages; ¹² let us go out early to the vineyards and see whether the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love. ¹³ The mandrakes give forth fragrance, and beside our doors are all choice fruits, new as well as old, which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.

She wants a vacation. She thinks the family needs a break from the busyness of work routines and family rhythms. She seeks solitude and sabbath. And for her, this involved nature – walking through vineyards, eating its fruit, and then spending late nights together doing what married couples do.

Most people are unclear about the discipline of sabbath. We know that the OT Sabbath is the 7^th day (Saturday) and was a day of rest. Additionally, the word comes from Hebrew “to cease”^[3] or stop work. In creation, God ceased work after 6-days, not because He was tired but to set an example of soul reflection, human enjoyment, and rest for our bodies. The Sabbath was made for humanity; it’s a gift from God (Mk 2:27). Sabbath is also a way of life to not find identity in what we can do on our own, but in what has already been done for us – in Christ (Heb 4). 

So, whether you’re an individual, married, or a family, we can apply the principle of sabbath.

• Individuals, like Jesus, need daily sabbath. Jesus prayed persistently and regularly withdrew to spend alone time with God (Mk 1:35; 6:31 Mt 6:11; 31). Daily meaningful time with the LORD is essential. How would individuals/marriages/family be different if they started and/or ended their day reflecting about their faith and praying for one another?

• Families refuel regularly (Ac 2:42). Our society is plagued by low mental-health, emotional instability, chronic physical exhaustion from busyness and sleeplessness, and spiritual emptiness. And sadly, the mention of sabbath seems more like a chore than a solution for their soul-restlessness.
  Chic-Fil-A didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich. Likewise, they didn’t originate the sabbath just the implementation of it. And it’s made them one of the world’s largest and financially successful food chains.
  Likewise, the flourishing of our families or sustaining of our souls will not occur by adding more activity on our calendar. Instead, we need to remember the sabbath and keep it holy (Ex 20:8). In light of Jesus, the sabbath isn’t about a day but devotion to a life (Ro 14:5). Early Christians gathered on a Sunday (Ac 20:7; 1Cor 16:2) to rest and refuel their spirit.

• Married couples interview each other for intensifying sabbath and Engedi –  oasis in the desert (1:14).

Their love was sanctifying (8:5)
⁵ Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved? Under the apple tree I awakened you. There your mother was in labor with you; there she who bore you was in labor.

Previously (3:6), this same question is asked by the woman. She is admiring his approaching her to the wedding ceremony. But now, the man is asking about the woman. They’re together. And she is leaning upon him, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. He is trustworthy and faithfully nurturing and providing for her – like the symbol of a fruitful apple tree.

A husband’s love is meant to sanctify his wife in how he sacrificially serves her and helps her grow in the word (Eph 5:25-27). Likewise, a wife’s respect and admiration transform him as a man of increased faith (1Pe 3:1-2).

• Husbands, pick one verse & truth from Sundays that you talk about with your wife.
• Wife – ask your husband… listen; then share your own.

Their love was solid. (SOS 8:6)
“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,

In the ancient world, possessions or property were stamped with a seal from the owner. Sometimes it was wood or clay, or other times from a signet ring. In this case, the Shulamite asks her man to set her as a seal upon his heart. In other words, she is expressing her appreciation of belonging to Solomon, and aiming for permanent security in their relationship.

Examples today might be of lovers who receive a tattoo of each other’s name on their body. But it would be hideous if a person kept having tattoo names crossed out to spell an additional name. The Shulamite is asking for a permanent seal, engraved with nail-pierced love that will never fade or fail.

Their love is serious (8:6)
⁶ for love is strong as death,

When a man and woman declare vows before God: to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for rich or poor, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”

This is why the world misunderstands marriage. It’s not a contract between two parties. Contracts are conditional with “If” / “Then” language. If you do for me, then I will do for you. BUT marriage is not contractual; it’s covenantal (Mal 2:14; Pr 2:17). A covenant is meant to be lifelong, with death as the only dissolution of a marriage covenant (Ro 7:2-3; 1 Cor 7:39). 

Therefore, divorce is never God’s design (Mal 2:16; Mt 19:6). The permanency of a covenant being understood, there are certain violations of the marriage covenant that divorce (and remarriage) are permitted. Please note, while violations contradict and impair the covenant, divorce is still never commanded, nor an automatic option. 

1. Scripture permits divorce upon the violation of sexual sin (Mt 5:32; 19:9). This may include physical adultery, homosexual acts, or perhaps cases of ongoing and unrepentant pornography, and specifically child pornography – which rightfully includes legal implications.
2. Scripture permits divorce upon the violation of abandonment (1Cor 7:12-16). If a spouse leaves the marriage and after a lengthy time it is clear reconciliation is not possible, then the neglect and abandonment are grounds for divorce (cf Ex 21:10-11; 1 Cor 7:15, 39). Additionally, spousal abuse (beyond ordinary or even inordinate conflict) is a form of abandonment of the marriage vows, and could be grounds for divorce.
3. In the case of divorce for “irreconcilable differences,” or alternative grounds, divorce may be a result of a fallen world (Dt 24:1-4), but Scripture would not permit re-marriage (1 Cor 7:10, 17).

Their love upholds solidarity.
^…6 jealousy is fierce as the grave [Sheol].

As the grave doesn’t compromise, nor should marriage in terms of solidarity. It “forsakes all others” to reserve a unique affection and attention for one. That doesn’t mean spouses cannot relate to the opposite gender with friends outside the marriage. But it leaves no doubt in the other relationships as to belonging to your spouse.

Jealousy isn’t always negative. God is jealous (Ex 20:5). In this case, biblical love has a righteous jealousy that is unwilling to share the type of love and committed relationship of a marriage.

This type of love makes sacrifices and creates guidelines and boundaries to promote the health of the relationship. There should be no such thing as playful flirting, or even unintentional devotion based on how you spend your time and attention.

Their love is strong (8:6-7)
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. ⁷ Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.”

Fire and water are extremely powerful. They can produce considerable and costly damage, or create immense joy. Homes enjoy fireplaces, gas powered cooking, bbq grills. They also enjoy the benefits of water from natural appliances of faucets, plumbing, as well as endless fun and physical therapy from swimming pools. Further, many regions benefit from hydropower, and the basis of irrigation to our farms which are essential to our global food system.

Likewise, fire and water are symbolic elements that remind us the renewable strength and cleansing power we receive in the love of God. Every person, every marriage, every family must rely upon the steadfast love of the LORD.

• Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters of God. Everyone who hungers, come eat without money or price
  (Isa 55:1)
• Whoever drinks of the water that Jesus gives will never be thirsty again, and will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life (Jn 4:14)
• What love could remember no wrongs we have done… The LORD counts not their sum, but hurls them to a sea without bottom or shore; our sins they are many, His mercy is more
  (cf. Mic 7:19; Jer 31:34; Ps 103:12)
• Our Good Shepherd helps us to rest in green pastures and leads us beside still waters (Ps 23:2)
• When you pass through flood waters, the LORD will be with you; the uncontrollable river rapids, they shall not overwhelm you; or when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned and flame not consume you. For the LORD is with you (Isa 43:2)
• There’s coming a day when we will be together before the throne of God with a river flowing through the city of God that leads to the tree of life with its fruit and the leaves of the tree for the healing of the nations (Rev 22:1-2)
• The LORD’s faithful love reaches to the sky; His goodness is higher than the mountains and deeper than the ocean. For with God is the fountain of life (Ps 36:5-9)

APPLY/TAKEAWAY

¹³ You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice! ¹⁴ Come away, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains.

The SOS concludes with the man declaring he wants to hear her voice. Then, she invites him to rush to nearness.

Friends, there is an adversary that wants to silence spouses and saints from running home to the Father.

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[1] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/commentary/song-of-solomon/

^[2] Douglas Sean O’Donnell, The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy, ed. R. Kent Hughes, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2012), 83.

^[3] Barbara J. Bruce, “Sabbath,” in Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, ed. Chad Brand et al. (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2003), 1426.