MOTIVATE

• You’ve felt it when your toddler (or a pet) snuggles up to you after a long and difficult day.
• You’ve heard it from the sprinkling drops tapping at the window on a rainy day.
• You’ve tasted it when a friend brings over homemade chicken noodle soup, and the broth warms your whole body.
• You’ve smelled it inside a new car that you never want to leave, but you know it’s fleeting.
• You’ve seen it in the compassion of a dear friend who is unselfish, thoughtful, and generous.
• You’ve experienced it from being burdened and wearied but finding rest in the depth of our soul from the gentle and lowly Savior, Jesus Christ.

Gentleness. Let’s look together in God’s word to discover the meaning and message of gentleness.

EXAMINE               Gentleness             Galatians 5:22

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ²⁴ And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Biblical Definitions / host of 13 words[1]/ heres’s a few…

• Ahnvaw (עַנְוָה) = only used 2x translated as mild or meek.
  Ps 18:35 “The LORD’s gentleness upholds me”
  
• Dehmahmaw (דְּמָמָה) = used 3x translates as still, calm, gentle; like how God spoke to Elijah – not in an violent earthquake or fierce fire but in a gentle voice (1Ki 19:12).
  
• Aht (אַט) = only used 7x but translates as gentle, soft, and implies restraint. Isa 8:6 compares a gently flowing stream vs dangerous surging rapids.
  
• Rahk (רַךְ) = used 16x and describes Leah’s eyes as tender or gentle (Gen 29:17), or describes children or animals as tender/frail (Gen 33:13). It’s also the type of response that turns away aggression or wrath (Pr 15:1; 25:15).
  
• Prahoos (πραΰς) = used ~16x is translated as meek, mild, humility, or gentleness. Jesus teaches “Blessed are the πραΰς for they inherit the earth” (Mt 5:5); and Jesus is described as πραΰς and humble (Mt 11:29).
  
• Ehpeikaace (ἐπιεικής) = used ~5x to indicate a peaceable outlook; a gentle and good purpose (cf Php 4:5 “letting gentleness be evident to all”; Jam 3:17 “the wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere”). Also is to be a quality of church leadership to not be argumentative but patient and gentle (cf 1Tim 3:3; Titus 3:2).

In summary, gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit that wisely and humbly expresses strength under control. Gentleness is not spineless or worthless, nor is it weakness. Gentleness is greatly relevant to our world and God’s design for every relationship. Further, gentleness is more than kindness bc it adds strength and truth. It’s like water or wind – both have the ability to be forceful and fierce, yet both can be harnessed for the good of others.   

Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit that wisely and humbly expresses strength under control. #FruitOfTheSpirit #gentleness

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Let’s look at biblical examples and then make applications on this fruit of the Spirit.

2 Samuel 9 ³ And [David] the king said, “Is there not still someone of the house of Saul, that I may show the kindness of God to him?” Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in his feet.” ⁴ The king said to him, “Where is he?” And Ziba said to the king, “He is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar.” ⁵ Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar. ⁶ And Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan, son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and paid homage. And David said, “Mephibosheth!” And he answered, “Behold, I am your servant.” ⁷ And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.” ⁸ And he paid homage and said, “What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as I?”

David is a gentle giant.

This phrase is used to describe people who are elite, powerful, or famous, yet surprisingly they act like an ordinary person. They could exhibit intimidation, arrogance, or aggression, but instead they’re humble and kind; a gentle giant.

David has conquered Goliath; he has survived Saul’s assassination attempts; defeated enemies and preserved integrity (at this point) and won the hearts of his nation. David has become the rightful king of Israel, and all of God’s promises are in front of him.

So, what are his first actions as the majestic royal and mighty leader of a kingdom army? What’s on the agenda for the first 100 days of this new political pioneer? Reading in the early chapters of 2 Samuel, we see why God called David “a man after God’s heart.”

• David finds common ground and creates unity with his political rivals (2:5-7)
• David returned the ark of God to the capital city for the nation to keep the worship of God central (6:1-15).
• David danced, praised, and prayed for the glory of God to permeate his life (6-7).
• David exhibited kindness, goodness, and gentleness toward the weak; toward his enemy – the house of Saul (9:3-13). “Is there not still someone of the house of Saul, that I may show the kindness [hesed] of God to him?”
• Indeed, there was with Saul’s grandson Mephibosheth (Mphib). Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in his feet.”
  You can almost read in between the lines: “King, this weak man doesn’t fit with your strong image. This cripple will handicap and lower your aura points. He’ll be a drain on your resources… Yet, David never asks, “How bad is he? How much will this cost, and do we have enough to cover the expense?” Instead, David simply says, “Where is he? Go get him.”

Mephibosheth’s description reflects us

• Unfit – “crippled in feet” (unable to stand) by the Fall (cf. 2Samuel 4:4)
• Unworthy – “someone” unnamed by Ziba, living in no-where “Lo-debar”
• Undeserving to the king – “fell on his face and paid homage… behold, I am your servant.”
• Unfortunate to the king – “What is your servant that you should show regard for a dead dog such as I?”dead dog: represented uncleanness physically and spiritually. Dogs were not generally pets, but were more scavengers. Mephibosheth was a man of shame and low self-esteem, perhaps even deserving of death. Yet, David the powerful has kindness for the feeble.
  
  

David doesn’t value Mephib based on ability but identity. “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness/gentleness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.”

• Disability does not determine a person’s worth. Human dignity is established from being made in God’s image.
• Further, the Christian’s identity is not about performance but position in Christ; it’s grace-based.
• Ultimately, David was a shepherd boy who had experienced undeserving grace, and therefore He was frequently willing to be gentle and generous toward others.
  
  

APPLY/TAKEAWAY

So, gentleness makes for a great OT narrative, and we’re thankful for the biblical truth that God is gentle toward us… but perhaps you’re not convinced this fruit of the Spirit is truly necessary for 21^st century.

• Our anxious and agitated world needs toughness.
• The temperate get teased.
• The meek and mild get mocked and maligned.
• Quiet souls get stepped on and shut out.
• The kind get despised and overruled.  
• Gentleness gets oppressed and overtaken.

But here are several reasons we need gentleness:

Gentleness begins usefulness.

We’ve looked at the meaning of the word as wisely and humbly expressing strength under control. The word picture is of a wild horse who has been tamed. The tamed steed is no less stronger wild stallion; it’s just now more valuable to the master.

Isaiah 57:15: “For this is what the high and lofty one says – He who lives forever, whose name is holy. ‘I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the spirit of the heart of the contrite.’”

God resides with the humble and blesses the gentle. It is the meek who inherit the earth (Mt 5:5), and God makes His face shine radiantly upon those looking to Him (Ps 34:5).

Numbers 12:3, 7-8 “Moses was very meek, more than everyone on the earth… Moses is [the most] faithful to the LORD and the LORD speaks with him clearly”
– Moses & Jesus were only ones called meek in Bible – – but remember Moses’ besetting sin was anger, which implies the antidote to anger is God’s grace.
James 1:20-21 “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore, put away filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your soul.”

2Tim 2:22-26 “Flee unholy passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace… Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies, which only breed conflict. The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting opponents with gentleness – so that – God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his bidding.

•  Say: “Here I am, Lord. Fill me / Send me.

Gentleness decreases conflict.

Our world is frequently on edge and looking for the next person they can unload their stress. Anger and rage are more common than relaxation and peacefulness. Some people are only happy when their tempers hyped. But Christians are not called to extinguish fire with hot air but a cool spirit. We are not obligated to share our opinion on every subject, nor reeled in to every debate – especially on social media, where keyboard warriors rule w/o sincere human interaction.

Proverbs 15:1, 4; 16:21 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger…
A gentle tongue is a tree of life… pleasant speech increases persuasiveness.”
                      

“I’m never persuasive when I’m abrasive.” – Rick Warren

“According to Scripture, we need to be tough on our own sin and tender with the sins of others.” pdb See Galatians 6; Matthew 7:1-5

Ecclesiastes 10:4 “If the anger of a ruler [boss/teacher/leader/pastor] rises against you, do not leave your place [quit], for calmness will lay great offenses to rest.”

1 Cor 4:12-13 “When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we respond gently.

Our brains contain mirror neurons, which is why we sympathize with others. These neurons help us to mirror back what we see in others. And this can work constructively and destructively:

• if someone is yelling at us, we might be tempted to raise our voice in return.
• If someone whispers, we probably whisper back, “Why are we whispering?”
• If someone is enthusiastic about a topic, their energy becomes contagious and that causes our excitement.
• If we spend time around pessimistic people who regularly grumble, prone to point out problems and seldom solve them… then we are highly likely to jump on the complain train, an eventually grow depressed.

But the Holy Spirit inside a believer improves and intensifies those neurons so that when someone ignites anger, we’re able to initiate gentleness. A key relational principle to peacemaking is that when someone raises their voice, you lower yours, so ideally their mirror neurons kick in and imitate your peace.

Eph 4:2 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Gentleness decreases conflict in marriage

Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
1Peter 3:7 “Husbands, live with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the [gentler] vessel”

Gentleness decreases conflict in parenting
Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

If we lack gentleness, or where to begin, just start with Jesus.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

If we lack gentleness, or where to begin, just start with Jesus.

“Jesus is not harsh, trigger happy, reactionary, easily exasperated. He is the most understanding person in the universe. The posture most natural to him is not a pointed finger but open arms.”[2]

The only prerequisite for coming to Jesus is being heavy laden and burdened. Amazingly, the same sin that disqualifies you from holiness is what qualifies you for the free grace of the Savior. Jesus doesn’t ask us how we became burdened; which specific sins we have – as if certain one’s are too difficult to forgive; or how long we’ve struggled. He just invites us to come because He is gentle and gracious.

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[1] https://americanreformer.org/2023/08/are-you-a-gentle-man/ This article is very informative for a wide biblical perspective and practical understanding for the topic of gentleness.

[2] Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly, p.19.