Let’s be honest. Some people are difficult to get along with. People can annoy you with their quirks, upset you with their comments, and disturb you with their actions. And if you think everyone around you is rosy, perhaps the difficult one is you!

The overall reality is that everyone needs to learn to get along with others, even amid our differences. Life gets lonely living in silos. Every person, specifically Christians, must cultivate compassion for a world in desperate need of it. So, here are 7 ways we can increase our compassion quotient.

1. Pray. As most things, compassion starts with prayer. We must pray for God to open our mind and align your heart passions with His heart priorities. Pray for God to burden our heart with what breaks His. Pray to see people the way God does, and to work on your wants – to speak, to share, to serve, and to care for others. Pray for the Holy Spirit to give you Philippians 2:3 perspective, which says, “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.” And remember, the power of the gospel is not just making mean people nice but  transforming the dead into new life. If we significantly struggle with loving others, then we might evaluate if we understand the gospel. Faith without the work of God’s forgiving love and Christ’s compassion is dead (James 2:17).
   
2. Read the Gospels and study Jesus’ life. Jesus’ example of listening, His command to love, and His priority of compassion for the lost must be on our radar. When we read the Gospels, we cannot help but be convicted by our selfishness and neglect to care for the needs of others. Likewise, we read about the transforming grace of Jesus in the lives of dense and indifferent disciples. Then we become inspired there’s hope for us too. So, journey with Jesus on a regular basis, and begin to care like Jesus did. A great tool is Life of Jesus in 30 Days, regardless if it takes you one or multiple months.
   
3. Study the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). Again, faith in Jesus is not static but transformative. The Holy Spirit invades every believer’s life so that nothing is untouched with the lordship of Jesus. Our character will be constantly refined, pruned, and deepened with God’s sanctifying grace. And the fruit of the Holy Spirit will be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. These are not isolated but integrated virtues, working simultaneously in our life. So, your personality type does not exempt you from cultivating compassion and exhibiting each of the fruit of the Spirit.
   
4. 9 Arts of Conversation study: There are many books and trainings to aid our Christian witness. The 9Arts is unique in that it is not promoting a formula as much as equipping us with the soft skills for relationships and modeling the heart, hands, and feet of Jesus. Friendship is the formula. The 9 arts or soft skills are: Noticing. Praying. Listening. Asking questions. Loving. Welcoming Hospitality. Facilitation. Serving. Sharing Jesus. These are indispensable for cultivating compassion, and the book itself, or Bible study we created, or sermon series we taught is worth your time.
   
5. Memorize Scriptures about God’s mercy and forgiveness. Memorizing Scripture was a primary path that Jesus took to prepare His life and ministry. Few disciplines are heart-shaping and life-transforming like Scripture memory. Those that think their days of memorizing are past are short-changing themselves and the Holy Spirit. Try it. Ask God to help you. Then keep trying. Time is never wasted and you will not reach a point in your life where you regret attempting to memorize God’s word. So, encountering God’s word on the topic of compassion will have obvious impact in the way you relate to others. Some examples: Psalm 103:8; Isaiah 30:18; 49:15-16; 63:7; Lamentations 3:22-24; Micah 6:8; Matthew 5:7; 9:13; 9:35-38; Romans 5:8; 12:15; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Ephesians 4:32, Philippians 2:1-3; Colossians 3:12; 1 John 3:17.
   
6. Do a word study on “compassion.” The Bible Project has many excellent resources for studying the Bible and various topics. Consider watching a 5-minute video on the meaning of the word “compassion” from Old and New Testament. A word study may not sound very practical, but God’s word has a way of softening our heart, and God can use creative imagery and technology to spark something in us too. You’ll learn how God’s matchless mercy, generous grace, and steadfast patience is to work in and through our life. CLICK for video link.
   
7. Spend time with other Christians. God has designed the world so that two are better than one. It is fine to be introverted or have an independent approach toward life goals. Yet, humanity is also interdependent because no one is perfect. Our weaknesses remind us of our need for others, and asking for help is not deficiency on your humanity but evidence of it. Further, God’s church is a place where people can come together in unity of common grace and good works to serve one another. The church is the single place on earth that brings together people from diverse labels and opposing groups for the sake of something greater than themselves. God’s kingdom is not left or right, it’s forward. And churches are to equip one another for the work of ministry, which is compassionate truth-telling, growing in maturity measured by Christ’s fullness.
   
   So, the next time your church gathers or plans an outreach, it’s not merely about growing the church. It’s about growing you. Spending time with other Christians helps you become all that God intended. Experience God’s love, then go and live loved so that others can too.