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Most people are uncomfortable with the subject of death.

Illustration: Like the 3 guys who were speaking about their future death and funeral. Each wanted others to offer grand eulogies at their funeral services. The first guy emphasized wanting persons to speak about his philanthropy and how many thousands of dollars he gave away. The second guy remarked wanting persons to speak of his greatest influence among his family with wife and children. The third guy quipped, “I want someone to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”[1]

Today’s message will help us discover principles for dealing with grief.

EXAMINE     When It Feels Too Late (John 11 LINK)

*Events around Jesus are getting darker and more bleak… physical exhaustion, dividing disciples, John baptizer was murdered, plotting religious leaders, and the stench of death with the pending weight of the cross.

Since life is fragile, treasure God’s people (JOHN 11:1-3)

• Siblings:
  • Lazarus, a beloved friend of Jesus
    >How do others know you have a beloved friend?
    Tons of time. Heaping amounts of humor. Copious amounts of compassion.
    Many people want friendship but not the investment it takes.

• Mary: woman John 12; possibly also of John 8?; and certainly of Luke 10. She was forgiven much, thus loved much. She stayed attentive to Jesus as much as possible.
  • *John gives extra identity of Mary of another episode that he has not mentioned yet in his Gospel. This fact indicates the audience was likely aware of at least the episode, if not also the other Gospel account.

• Martha was a faithful servant. She was the busy worker (Lk 10:40). She too, with her sister, was dearly loved by Jesus (v.5). Martha was the homeowner, and probably older and responsible sister. Her theology is accurate with confessing Jesus as Son of God; believing in the resurrection, and devoted in service. YET, she still appears as the face of fret and fear.
  >Today, if you have more worry than warrior, this message is to remind you that God loves you faithfully. One of our core values is PRAYER: We are spiritual warriors. We overcome worry not by our resources but trusting God’s redeeming provision.

• Lazarus was ill… Successful treatment of disease depends primarily on prompt, correct diagnosis, and the use of effective therapeutic agents. Unfortunately, people living in biblical times had limited means to diagnose and treat illness. The best-educated people in biblical times had a meager understanding of human anatomy and physiology and even less knowledge about the nature of disease and its effect on the body. No one knew about bacteria and viruses. The Physician had few aids to their work beyond diverse observation experiences.^[2]

• My observations
  • Basically, all my grandparents died when I was younger.
• • Back in 1998 when I was 1^st licensed as a pastor, a church member (Stanberry) passes. Our pastor was on vacation. He tells me to go to their house to talk and pray with them
• • Our 4^th daughter infection at 1-y/o
  • SPBC with Brewsters… and so many others.

• Fragile
  • James 4:14 “What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”
  • Ps 90:10-12 “life is gone too soon… teach us to number our days”

>> Instead of counting days, make days count. 
          > Know your Creator. If you fail to know God, there will be no good in afterlife.
          >Express love, gratitude, extraordinary kindness each day and your life will be rich.
                     packed vs empty funerals

Since Jesus love is steadfast, trust God’s plan (JOHN 11:4-15).

• Jesus heard Lazarus was ill. He understood the importance. Yet, Jesus waited two days bc he loved the family. Does that make sense? Not in human understanding. But Jesus is teaching us that waiting is instructive.
• Jesus readies for Judea but the disciples are uncertain since they knew people were plotting his death. However, Jesus’ plan was not focused on darkness but being light in the world… YET, Jesus emphasized that Lazarus was not just ill or sleeping but dead – *which is pretty dark* – but it will serve a purpose of identifying Jesus’ power.
• If God makes us wait, it’s not wasted but works toward something better. Divine delays are God’s ways to develop our faith. Think of…
  • Abraham & Sarah waiting for Isaac, eventually resulting in nation of Israel
  • Israelites waiting 40 years to enter promised land with milk & honey
  • David waiting and developing as a shepherd to become king
  • Disciples waiting 3-days until Jesus’ resurrection
  • Apostles waiting 10-days from Jesus’ Ascension to Pentecost for Holy Spirit
• Jesus viewed every earthly experience as temporary
  • Sickness                               Jesus is healer
• • Poverty (and wealth)            Jesus is provider
• • Disappointments                 Jesus is hope
  • Death                                    Jesus is resurrection
    Psalm 63:3 “The LORD’s love is better than life.”
• Jesus’ love is stronger than death
  • He came to fight and defeat it.
    Death says: Life is over. Jesus says: Death is finished but life is just getting started.
  • His love perseveres w/o quit, and works all things together for good. His lack of visible action does not mean His lack of affection; it simply is God’s approach – His divine method for directing your life toward dependence on Him.

Jesus teaches us that waiting is instructive. Divine delays are God’s ways to develop our faith. #John11

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 Applications:
>> Turn waiting into working. Don’t be passive. What does God want you to do while you’re waiting?

>> Jesus was unafraid of anything and unhurried by anyone. This confidence only occurs by familiarity with God’s plan.
   Like in sport, clutch athletes have prepared relentlessly. OR military / OR doctors / etc… We become familiar with God’s plan by being that daily sponge in God’s word.  

¹⁶ So Thomas, called Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

>> The same Thomas who doubted was the same who enthusiastically spoke about commitment to Jesus unto death. Instead of bold and bragging statements, we should start with small baby steps of faithfulness.
> Start reading your Bible each day.
> Start going to church 4 Sundays/month AND being a greeting compass N-E-W-S
> Start sharing your faith weekly.

Since idol-making is human, trust God’s promises (JOHN 11:17-27).

• Lazarus is dead without doubt: been in the tomb four days. Jews believed a person’s soul hovered over the body 
• The sisters were deeply disappointed in Jesus. In one perspective there appears a tone of anger and bitterness. It’s human. Yet, the spiritual component to that is creating an idol of human relationships that we have control over rather than trusting God’s purposes.
• BUT notice how they respond. They pray. Martha asks Jesus to resurrect Lazarus
  v.22 I know you can. Yes, Lord; I believe you can…

>What is your moment: If Jesus had been here, then _____ would have been different.

• Family: a spouse who betrayed / a child who strayed
• Coworker: things didn’t turn out the way you expected
• Circumstance of confusion or roadblock of resentment

One reality common to grief is that we can turn it into resentment against God or allow God to turn it into redemption for us. When something doesn’t go our way and grief hits, our idols are revealed. Instead, we need to grow to understand and trust God’s purpose and promises to work everything for His glory and our good.

One reality common to grief is that we can turn it into resentment against God or allow God to turn it into redemption for us.

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*C.S. Lewis describes it this way:
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

 
Jesus’ message in our resentments is His reassurance: You will rise again. Do you believe?
For the Christian, you are more than a conqueror. This world is not your home, but God is preparing a heavenly place with a kingdom purpose, imperishable inheritance, and unfading joy.

In a word: Resilience.[3] Resilience occurs thru a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ.

Sidenote: Many cling to OT promises related to national Israel when Jesus came to fulfill them, so that God’s promises are centered around gospel & kingdom discipleship through suffering. Thus, resiliency is mostly learned through adversity over prosperity.   

Since resurrection is possible, trust in God’s power (JOHN 11:28-44).

• Lazarus died. The sisters were disappointed. Yet, they still approached Jesus for consolation.
• Jewish custom would be for the family to grieve alongside professional mourners (wailing crowds, flute players, supportive friends[4]). Those who have lost a loved one knows the weight of grief and weeks of commotion that takes place. Everything is spinning out of control, but in this passage, we see Jesus as calm and compassionate.
• ^33/38 Jesus was deeply moved (ενεβριμησατο – to snort [as horses] with anger; deeply agitated ) ³⁵ Jesus wept (ἐδάκρυσεν = silent but deep sincere tears) for the family.
• Jesus’ power is revealed in calling the once-dead Lazarus out from the grave.  
• John’s Gospel provides a 7^th sign miracle where Jesus resurrects Lazarus from 4-day funk of death. This is the tipping point for the religious leaders seeking to execute Jesus (cf Jn 12:10-11). When it comes to One who has power over life & death, you either have to devote your life to them, or destroy them so you can keep your own priorities. What’s your response to Jesus?

*Jesus’ power means He’s unfazed and unflinching towards our darkest moments.

*Jesus had enough strength to shed tears…

*Jesus’ power doesn’t always ≠ immediate results.

*Your miracle is on the other side of obedience to roll away a heavy rock.

*Your new life is only in the context of others who helps you unbind grave clothes.

APPLY/TAKEAWAY

Death is not the end but an eyeblink into what’s next (Jn 14:1-3). 

Death is not a separation but a reunion (Rev 21).

Jesus loves every Lazarus, Martha, and Mary… Do you hear Jesus call your name?

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[1] Illustrative story heard from sermon by Dr. Stephen Rummage.

^[2] Kenneth Eakins, “Diseases,” in Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, ed. Chad Brand et al. (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2003), 427.

[3] See my series on resiliency through the life of Joseph: Down 7 Up 8, https://growinggodlygenerations.com/?s=resilience

[4] Donald Carson, PNTC The Gospel of John, p.415.